vanilla bean

i actually written a post before I went to gym. It was happy and all..but now I'm in no mood. I had those crappy fights of no ending with my bf. I dunno what happen but I was angry,he was angry. We were shouting through the phone. My phone was wet from tears. Me hanging up and calling back 2 minutes later. fought back again. Series of hanging ups n shouts..still the same. Both do not want to back down. I hate it. Hate everything. He says I've changed and that when I'm a lawyer I'll be worse. Which part of me has changed? the things that I'm learning now definitely change my view of life. Experiences and exposures to reality altered my perception. but isn't that part of life? No matter how my view change I still love him. He blames me for not understanding his work? Gosh everyone has stress, i tried to be an understanding gf but doing laundry when i go to his house or cleaning up is just not my cup of tea. I don't even do my own laundry or clean up my room. When i go to his house all I want is to sleep in his bed, with the comfortable quilt round me..I don't feel like doing all that. Does that make me a bad gf? We see each other almost everyday, if he is tired and don't feel like meeting me just say it. Don't come like I forced him too. i have to deal with his bad mood, as if I don't have my issues. Being a college student has its own stress and issues..cant he understand?I ahte averything right now. I love him but sometimes we just cant stand each other. I'm a person who is very sensitive of people's words. Every single vocabulary they use my mind will process the word to different interpretations. Even if he don't really pay attention to the words he use, I do and bad habit that I have I will rememeber each and every word he told me. etched in my mind, especially yhte words which I doubt the meaning and need clarification or words that hurt me. Like for instance "stupid" for me is the most hurtful word anyone can say to me. Of cause many of you don't think so but that word is like a double edged sword that hurts me the most. This kinda times I feel that the pieces don't fit anymore....